Light In The Darkness
by India Rose Ghersi
Summary: An AU. When Tara Maclay was first born, it took the doctors and her parents a little while to realize she was blind. Growing up blind was hard, children could be cruel to people who were different. Now grown and mistrusting, Tara has decided to hire someone to help her around her home. Thanks to Boris Yeltsin for the idea and to Willara4Ever for passing it on!
1. 1 The Interview

Tara opened her door slowly. "Who's there?" She asked, rolling her cane around in front of her to make sure there was nothing there before stepping further.

"My name's Willow." Came a bright, sunny voice. "I'm here about the housekeeping position. We spoke on the phone?"

Tara was silent, trying to place her. "Right. Willow." She said gruffly, remembering. "Come in. Close the door behind you." Without another word, Tara turned and headed back into the lounge room. She knew from the sounds of footsteps that the girl must have been following her.

* * *

Following Tara's lead, Willow sat nervously across from the young, blonde woman and rested her hands in her lap.

"You know this is a live-in position?" Tara asked, her voice retaining the same gruff quality from before.

Willow nodded, then when she realised about the woman's condition, she laughed nervously. "Yes."

"That it would require…" Tara trailed off. "Assisting me?" She shuddered visibly as she said it.

"Yes. That's fine." Willow said, smiling even though she knew the woman sitting across from her couldn't see.

"You don't have a problem? With either of those things?" Tara asked, part of her dreading the answer. Most people were scared of her. Because of her differences, they turned away.

"No. Not at all." Willow said.

"Because if you do," Tara said quickly, "the door's open. You can go. Leave. But now's the time."

"I don't have a problem with any of it." Willow said again. There was something in her tone that Tara hadn't heard a lot before, aside from her mother and father. Warmth.

Tara nervously played with her hands, praying the girl wouldn't back out. This girl was one of countless she'd interviewed. She hadn't said anything about her… condition in the paper so ninety nine percent of the time, the minute the candidates found out about it, they ran for the hills, just like everybody else did.

* * *

"That's perfectly alright, Ms. Maclay." Willow repeated kindly, forcing Tara back to reality. "I don't mind, really."

"Are you sure?" Tara asked nervously, giving the girl one final opportunity to bow out gracefully.

"Sure as sure." Willow said.

"Great." Tara said, releasing a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding and getting up. Willow rose to her feet and came around.

"You've got the position." Tara said. She reached out and touched what felt like a shoulder. Nervously, she pulled her hand away, scared the young woman might be offended.

"It's ok." Willow said, noticing her new boss's nerves and sticking her hand out. "My hand's right in front of you."

"Thank you." Tara said appreciatively, shaking it. "How soon can you start?"

"Right away if you'd like me to." Willow said. "I'll just go grab my stuff, and come back and.."

"That would be wonderful, Miss.."

"Rosenberg." Willow said, relaxing.

"That would be wonderful Miss Rosenberg. I'll wait here."


	2. 2 All Consuming

_A few weeks later_

"Argh!" Tara yelled in frustration, dropping the knife with a clatter. Willow looked over.

"What's wrong Ms. Maclay?"

Tara gestured to the carrot on the chopping board. "I'm hopeless!" She complained. "May as well quit while I'm ahead. Let you do it all. You're far better at all this than I am."

"Ms Maclay," Willow said gently. Tara felt what she guessed must have been Willow's arms brush by her own and felt a shiver go down her spine as their skin touched.

"You're not hopeless. It's a little harder for you, that's all. You're doing fine. Here." Willow took Tara's hands in her own and cut the carrot a little thinner, guiding Tara's hands along as she did.

"Nothing we can't fix." She said brightly, returning to her own task.

"Thank you." Tara said.

"What for Ms Maclay?"

"Helping me. Putting up with me."

"Well, helping you is my job, and I don't mind it." Willow said, smiling. "But putting up with you?"

"I'm angry all the time. I was really rude to you when you first got here.."

"Ms Maclay, you're great." Willow said kindly. "You gave me a job after all."

Tara frowned slightly. The girl liked her because she gave her a job. Great. There was only one good thing in all of this. She hadn't fled when she'd first found out. But she was about to now. Tara was sure of it.

* * *

Willow closed her eyes and shook her head vigorously. No. She couldn't be thinking those things. It was wrong. It had to be. She was her boss! But she was so... Pretty? No, that didn't cut it. Gorgeous? Not strong enough. Beautiful. Yes, that was it. Beautiful.

Willow shook her head again and opened her eyes wide. She'd been dreaming. She had to have been. No… She hadn't been dreaming, she realised as the wicked thoughts returned to her mind. She couldn't help thinking there was something more. Another layer to Tara Maclay that she'd yet to reveal. There was the tough exterior, but sometimes, other things seemed to seep through. Emotions other than her usual gruffness or seriousness. Vulnerability. Hope. Sensitivity.

* * *

In her own room, Tara's cheeks grew wet as tears trailed down her face. It would never happen. No one would ever like her. She'd tried so many times before and it never worked. In the end, everyone ran. They always did. So why, she wondered, when she thought of Willow Rosenberg eventually doing the same, did her chest hurt so much. Why did a lump form in her throat and tears spring to her eyes?

It would never happen. That much she'd come to learn, and eventually, even accept. It never happened, no matter how many times she tried. So why bother trying when it never happened? It was all one great waste of time. Yet, something inside her, for some, unknown reason, was compelling her to keep trying with Willow. Something told her that things would be different. For some reason, Tara had hope that maybe, just maybe things would work out with Willow. That maybe, just maybe, for the first time in her life, she'd finally have a friend.


	3. 3 Guarded

"I don't know about this Willow." Tara said nervously. "Are you sure?"

"Sure." Willow said happily. "That's what I'm here for Ms. Maclay. To be your eyes. Your light in the darkness. What other point is there to my being here if you can't try new things?"

A small laugh escaped form Tara's mouth before she had the chance to stop it. "That's sweet Willow. But…"

"Come on Ms. Maclay. Live a little!" Willow encouraged cheerily.

"Alright then." Tara relented, her nerves echoing in her voice.

Willow smiled as she took Tara's hand to guide her. "It'll be alright Ms. Maclay. I'll be with you the whole time."

* * *

"Watch it!" Tara yelled as something almost knocked her over. Willow grabbed Tara's arm just in time and steadied her.

"What's wrong with you?!" Came an angry voice.

"What's wrong with you!?" Willow yelled, her grip on Tara's arm tightening protectively. "Almost knocking over a blind woman! How could you?"

Tara squeezed Willow's hand. "Willow." She whispered warningly through gritted teeth.

"Sorry." Willow said, her voice growing small. Tara heard what she guessed to be the person who'd knocked her over coming back.

"What's it like being blind huh?" The man asked, his tone aggressive. "All dark in there?" The man tapped Tara's skull lightly as if to test whether or not it was empty.

"What's it like to see!?" Tara retorted sarcastically as Willow lead her away.

* * *

"Woah there!" Came another, friendlier male voice as Tara lost her balance. She felt a little pressure in the small of her back and guessed the man must have been helping her up.

"Thank you." She said.

"Xander?" Willow asked disbelievingly. "Xander!" She cried again happily, nearly bowling him over with a hug.

"Hey Will!" Xander said. "I didn't see you there. Who's your friend?"

"Oh Xander, this is Tara Maclay. Tara, this is my friend Xander. I've known him since I was five, but then we lost touch and…"

"Here I am!" Xander said, throwing his arms out wide, making Willow giggle.

"Oh Xander I've missed you!"

* * *

"What is it like?" Willow asked curiously as they wandered the shopping centre.

"What's what like?" Tara asked.

"Not to be rude," Willow said, her voice getting quieter as the nerves set in, "but, being blind?"

"I wouldn't know." Tara said honestly. "I've been like this my whole life. I don't know any different. It would be like me asking you what it was like to see. Would you be able to tell me?"

"Not really." Willow admitted. "It's all I've known."

"Exactly." Tara said.

* * *

"Willow, you wouldn't mind helping me do my hair would you?" When Tara asked her, Willow noticed the gruff edge to her voice seemed to have returned. She frowned slightly, a little disappointed. She thought she'd unravelled that layer. But, seeing that display at the shopping centre that day, she couldn't blame Tara for being a little guarded.

"Willow?" Tara asked, a little annoyed.

"Sorry Ms. Maclay." Willow answered. "I can do that. Right now?"

"Yes." Tara said, folding her arms as she returned to her bedroom.

"What's the occasion?" Willow asked curiously as she ran the brush through Tara's hair.

"What does it matter?" Tara asked with a sigh.

"Well, how would you like your hair? Up? Down?"

"What do you think?" Tara asked. "You're the one who can see it."

Willow looked at Tara, a sadness in her eyes the woman would never see. She couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her.

"Would you like to try?" Willow asked gently.

"Why bother?" Tara asked. "It never looks any good when I do it."

"How do you know?" Willow asked curiously.

"I feel it." Tara snapped. "And it always feels like darned Einstein!"

* * *

Willow took Tara's hand and led her downstairs, suddenly thinking of something.

"Willow, what are you doing?"

"I thought I'd try something." Willow said, leaving Tara in the middle of the living room as she crossed it to put some music on. "If you're alright with it, that is." She added, pausing at the stereo and looking back toward Tara.

"I guess trying something, in my own home where nothing can really hurt me, would be alright." Tara answered slowly, trying a little to convince herself.

Willow smiled. "Great. Well, this always helps me when I'm upset, or angry. You seemed a little tense so I thought we could give it a try."

Tara shrugged. "I guess."

Happily, Willow pressed play and returned to Tara, cautiously taking her hands in her own.

"Come on." Willow encouraged, starting to dance.

"What are we doing?"

"Dancing!" Willow said enthusiastically.

'Dancing?' Tara thought. That seemed a little strange. 'Oh well. What have I got to loose?' So, she shrugged her shoulders and began to move to the music.

"Willow," Tara started, raising her voice a little over the sound of the music, "This might seem like a bit of a strange question… But, why are we dancing?"

Nothing could wash the huge smile from Willow's face as she looked back at Tara. "We're dancing our troubles away." She said simply.

'That makes sense.' Tara thought and got right into it, following Willow's lead and dancing like she hadn't a care in the world.


	4. 4 Frozen Heart

Willow stood frozen for a moment, completely shocked at the sight in front of her. Tara had burst into tears right in front of her. Slowly coming back to her senses, Willow came forward and slipped her arm around Tara's shoulders, leading her slowly to the bed and sitting down beside her.

"Ms. Maclay…" Willow started nervously. She longed to rub Tara's back but wasn't sure whether or not that would be wrong.

"Nothing ever goes right!" She complained through her tears. "Nothing ever works! I'll never have any friends! They all run the minute…"

"Hey," Willow said, her voice calming. 'Screw it.' She thought and started to rub Tara's back. "It'll be alright."

"No it won't! No one will ever want to be friends with a blind person! Who'd want to be when you've got to lead them around and do things for them? More things than you'd have to do for a normal person. Why can't I just be normal? It would be much easier."

"I'm glad you're not normal, Ms. Maclay." Willow said honestly.

"What?" Tara asked, feeling for Willow's hand and resting hers atop it.

"I'm glad you're not normal." Willow repeated patiently.

"Why?"

"Because, if you were, I never would have met you would I?"

"I guess not." Tara admitted. She took a breath. "Thank you Willow."

Willow gave Tara's hand a gentle squeeze and felt a shiver of pleasure run its course down her spine. "Anytime Ms. Maclay."

"Tara."

"What?" Willow asked, looking up at her.

"Tara." She repeated. "Call me Tara, ok? No more of that Ms. Maclay stuff! It makes me feel old!"

Willow laughed. "Ok, Tara." She said, liking the sound of the name on her tongue.

* * *

That night, when Willow and Tara were cooking together, it took all Willow had not to pull Tara close and kiss her senseless. Instead, she settled for guiding Tara's hands as they chopped vegetables together. The mere touch of Tara's skin against her own sent shivers running down her spine. She smiled at the sweetness of Tara's nerves as her hands shook trying to complete a task.

Tara tried her hardest not to groan with pleasure at the feel of Willow's skin touching her own as she took her hands to guide them. She shuddered whenever she thought of the close proximity of their bodies, Willow's head resting lightly on Tara's shoulder so she could see what was going on. The sound of her bright, sunny voice just about made Tara drool. Tara shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the wicked thoughts. But it was no use. Not completely. They still lingered wrongly in the back of her mind.

She stayed quiet. She didn't want to reveal too much of herself. Not yet. The more you revealed, the worse you could get hurt. Tara had been hurt enough times to know that much, so now, she tended to overcompensate and reveal herself slowly, if at all. She only revealed herself to people she trusted, which most of the time she didn't. But something told her this would be different. Something told her that Willow could be trusted. The question was, did she really trust her instincts? Most of the time, she did, but this seemed fishy. Everything always ended badly, in heartache for her, so why would this time be any different?


	5. 5 Falling

"Buffy what do I do?" Willow asked her best friend desperately over the phone.

"She sounds really nice Will." Buffy said. "But I think you've got to be gentle with her. It sounds like she's been hurt a lot. That will mean she's less likely to trust you right away. Things are going to take longer to build up."

Willow pouted, a little disappointed. There was this overwhelming lust she felt for Tara and she felt like, if something didn't happen soon, she'd explode.

"I wish I could just…" She complained.

"I know." Buffy said sympathetically. "But if you want this to work, you've got to take things slowly. I know it kills, but you've just got to be patient." She said. "Maybe let Tara set the pace?"

"What?" Willow asked, half in a daze.

"Let Tara set the pace." Buffy repeated. "I think you're ready for more than she's comfortable with. She's got a lot of wounds, and a lot of scars that need healing. You can help her Will. You can be there for her, support her, listen to her. But she needs to be the one to say how fast. Ok?"

Willow nodded. "I guess."

* * *

"Willow," Tara started practicing. "I.. I…" She shook her head. This was wrong. There had to be boundaries somewhere. It was a boss-worker relationship. There couldn't really be an actual relationship. That was immoral. But that beautiful voice.. Those soft hands… Her warm, gentle skin… Her optimism and bubbly personality... Tara couldn't bear it. Was love the right word? No. She didn't know her enough yet. But then she realised the inevitable and all the hope she might have had disappeared. It would never happen. Not for her. Because nothing ever happened for her.

* * *

Willow slipped an arm around Tara's waist, holding her as she cried.

"Nothing ever happens! It always turns pear shaped."

"Not always." Willow said optimistically.

"Yes always." Tara insisted.

"No." Willow said again. "I'm here aren't I?"

"Because I employed you." Tara said, her frown deepening.

"Tara, you offered me a job." Willow said. "I'm the one who took it. I'm the one who stayed."

Tara nodded. "You did. But why?" She asked. "Everyone else ran for the hills. They were scared of me. Why weren't you?"

Willow squeezed Tara's hand and looked into the young woman's wandering blue eyes, wishing Tara could see her.

"Because I don't care." She said simply. "Whether or not you can see makes no difference whatsoever. It's not even that obvious. Especially when I'm guiding you. We could just be two friends taking a walk in the park. Xander thought we were friends remember?"

Tara nodded. "It's not?" She asked.

"No." Willow said. "It seems obvious to you because you know where to look, but not to anyone else."

"I wish I could see you Willow."

"Who said you need eyes to see a person?" Willow asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Looks don't matter." Willow said. She took Tara's hand and placed it on her chest. "It's what's in here that counts. Sometimes I wish everything was like Shallow Hal." She said sadly. "The nasty people look ugly and the nice people look pretty."

"Willow, if the world were like Shallow Hal, you'd be the most beautiful person on the planet." Tara said. The first smile Willow had ever seen from her escaped her lips.

Willow blushed. "You think so?"

Tara nodded. "Apart from my parents, you're the first person who's stayed with me longer than five seconds before running away. You're kind to me. You put up with my moods. You do far more than your job calls for."

"Should I stop?" Willow asked nervously.

"No Willow." Tara said. "You're wonderful. You should keep doing exactly what you are."

"Thank you." Willow said.

"Why are you thanking me?" Tara asked, confused. "I should be thanking you."

"For giving me this job." Willow said. "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Why?"

"Because I met you."


	6. 6 Stay

"Willow, what are you saying?" Tara asked, slightly defensive.

"What I'm saying is, I like you. I like you a lot Tara." Willow said.

Tara's face relaxed. "You like me? Really?" It sounded too good to be true. It couldn't have been.

"Yes. You're the most wonderful person I've met. You can be a little negative at times, but that's understandable, given all you've been through." Willow smiled.

Tears began to trickle down Tara's cheek. "No one's ever said that to me before." She sobbed. Willow pulled her closer on the lounge.

"I'm surprised." Willow said. "You're so beautiful Tara. I'm shocked no one else has seen that."

"Really?" Tara asked, still disbelieving. "You think I'm b-b-beautiful?"

Willow laughed, taking Tara's hands in her own. "Inside and out. Tara, there's no word in the world that would be strong enough to describe how beautiful you are."

The tears were coming in a rapid flow now.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Willow." Tara said. "You're the only thing that's ever happened to me."

Willow giggled. "I'm glad I make you happy Tara. You make me happy."

"I'm so lucky you turned up on my doorstep that day." Tara said. "Thanks again for putting up with me."

"Putting up with you?" Willow asked, taken aback. "Tara, you're great company."

* * *

"Willow, I'm sorry to have to say this.." Tara said, returning to her usual serious demeanour. "But, I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go."

Willow's face fell. "What?"

"Well, there's something I've been wanting to say for a long time now, and it's not something appropriate to tell an employee." Tara said.

Willow stared at her in silence. "I have something to say too, and it's definitely not something that's appropriate to tell your boss."

"Willow, I think we're friends enough now…" Tara stopped herself and squeezed Willow's hand. "Are we friends?" She asked, wincing in anticipation of Willow's answer. She hoped this wasn't going to end like all the times before.

"Yes, we're friends." Willow confirmed, squeezing her hand.

Tara breathed a sigh of relief. "I think we're friends enough now," she repeated, "that you could tell me just about anything you wanted."

Willow smiled. "Thanks Tara."

* * *

"Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me?" Tara asked

"Yeah." Willow remembered. "Tara, I think I'm falling in love with you."

"What?" Tara asked, so shocked that she'd only half heard what Willow had said.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Tara." Willow repeated slowly.

"So do I." Tara admitted tearfully.

As the tears flowed, Willow guessed the words that Tara couldn't say.

"You never thought you'd here anyone say that, did you?"

Tara shook her head.

"Well I do and I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here, with you, for however long you want me."

"How does forever sound?" Tara choked out.

"Not quite long enough." Willow laughed. "But for now, I guess it'll have to do."

Tara smiled. "I've finally found it."

"Found what?" Willow asked, stroking her hand.

"My light in the darkness. The person who will stand by me and won't go away. The person who doesn't care that I can't see. The person who doesn't run away the minute they find out. The person who stays. "


End file.
